Just in time for the High Holy Days, here are five comedies about Jewish-American life. From dietary restrictions to interfaith marriage, what's a good Jew to do? The movie for Friday -- A Man And His Banana -- is not technically Jewish because of rules against working on the Sabbath—but it is something a young Woody Allen might have made.
The Hebrew Hammer
This movie turns the "nice Jewish boy" stereotype upside down and squashes it, along with Santa Claus. He's a bad dude, sick of being Jewish at Christmastime, and he's got a gun. Written and directed by Jonathan Kesselman, who later made the feature film version starring Adam Goldberg.
Gossip: The Evil Tongue
A little gossip at a Jewish wedding is to be expected, but this time it's a big deal—the bride may not be a Member Of The Tribe.
The Wedding Bout
Here's another look at marriage outside the faith, this time with the bride and groom in a boxing match symbolizing the clash of cultures, with lots of kibitzing onlookers. Can't we all just get along?
Bacon and the Gefilte
He knows he shalt not commit adultery against his Jewish wife, but what if it's food that he's actually lusting after? And what if, God forbid, it's pork?
A Man and His Banana
Food and sex together again, this time with a New Yorker so neurotic he has a banana for a pet, and it talks with him philosophically about love and life. No wonder his girlfriend leaves him. The story, characters, and light jazz music are all Woody Allen-esque. Instead of Love and Death, it could be called Love and Produce.
September 29, 2008
Lost Screen Tests: Fake Interview with Samuel L. Jackson
He's "King of the Mother@#$%^ World," and he's got s--- to say about movies, women, language, and those lost screen tests recently posted on the Mini Movie Channel website.* (*Mini Movie Channel stresses that no actual celebrities participated in this interview or the screen tests posted on www.minimovie.com . The words here are not those of the actual Samuel L. Jackson. They're parodies, mother@#$%^!)
Mini Movie Channel: Mr. Jackson, why do you think you didn't get the role of Jack in Titanic?
Samuel L. Jackson: I guess they wanted someone different. That little mother@#$%^ Leo ain't nothin' like me.
MMC: Why were you so verbally abusive to Kate in the audition? Do you have a problem with women?
SLJ: Abusive? I wasn't pickin' on her; I'm always like that. And no, I love women, especially their t@#$%^. Sorry, but if you can't stand the mother@#$%^ heat, get out the f@#$%^ kitchen! Maybe this is why they kept me off that boat.
MMC: Aren't you concerned about how your language affects people, and what they think of you? What about children who hear it?
SLJ: H#@& no, it's real; and if little kids hear me talkin' this way in a movie, it's something they shouldn't be watching anyway. And on TV all the good s#%& gets cut out or bleeped. I've been bleeped a lot. King of the bleepin' world!
MMC: Your Titanic screen tests have been a hit for Mini Movie Channel. Do you have any others we could post?
SLJ: S#%^ yeah, how about the one of me trying out for Gladiator: "Commodus?! What the f&%^ kinda name is that?" Or Hannibal Lecter, where I tell the b&#%^ what I'll do if I get outta jail. Or Ariel in The Little Mermaid. Man, those Disney mother@#$%^ still won't talk to me after that one. Maybe I should clean up my act a little….
(*Mini Movie Channel stresses that no actual celebrities participated in this interview or the screen tests posted on www.minimovie.com. The words here are not those of the actual Samuel L. Jackson. They're parodies, mother@#$%^!)
Mini Movie Channel: Mr. Jackson, why do you think you didn't get the role of Jack in Titanic?
Samuel L. Jackson: I guess they wanted someone different. That little mother@#$%^ Leo ain't nothin' like me.
MMC: Why were you so verbally abusive to Kate in the audition? Do you have a problem with women?
SLJ: Abusive? I wasn't pickin' on her; I'm always like that. And no, I love women, especially their t@#$%^. Sorry, but if you can't stand the mother@#$%^ heat, get out the f@#$%^ kitchen! Maybe this is why they kept me off that boat.
MMC: Aren't you concerned about how your language affects people, and what they think of you? What about children who hear it?
SLJ: H#@& no, it's real; and if little kids hear me talkin' this way in a movie, it's something they shouldn't be watching anyway. And on TV all the good s#%& gets cut out or bleeped. I've been bleeped a lot. King of the bleepin' world!
MMC: Your Titanic screen tests have been a hit for Mini Movie Channel. Do you have any others we could post?
SLJ: S#%^ yeah, how about the one of me trying out for Gladiator: "Commodus?! What the f&%^ kinda name is that?" Or Hannibal Lecter, where I tell the b&#%^ what I'll do if I get outta jail. Or Ariel in The Little Mermaid. Man, those Disney mother@#$%^ still won't talk to me after that one. Maybe I should clean up my act a little….
(*Mini Movie Channel stresses that no actual celebrities participated in this interview or the screen tests posted on www.minimovie.com. The words here are not those of the actual Samuel L. Jackson. They're parodies, mother@#$%^!)
How Not To Be A Stupid Filmmaker: Writers
WRITERS are where it all starts.
Word! It all begins with the word: The Script.
The writer of any script owns the script. And, of course, he or she has the right to sell his script to a filmmaker so it can be made into a movie. It’s essential to legally contract for the script from the writer. The contract should clearly spell out what rights the filmmaker is getting from the writer and for how long. It should also define how any compensation would work.
The filmmaker must get those rights in writing before starting any project based on that script. If it’s an original script from a friend or associate, or even a family member, it should be pretty straightforward. Where it gets sticky is if the filmmaker is buying a script that was based on some other source, such as a short story or any other published material. The filmmaker needs to follow the chain of creation and make sure he/she has permission from each entity involved in that creation. If it is material from another source, the filmmaker may need to get the writer’s and the publisher’s permission. Sometimes filmmakers get support or funding from outside sources like a foundation or a commercial sponsor. It should be clear in the agreements with those outside sources exactly what rights the filmmaker has and how those rights may be sold or licensed, as often they may have a say in what can be done with the finished product.
Buyers will want to see the whole chain of title regarding the rights to the script that's been filmed. Oftentimes, the filmmaker is the writer, too. So if you’re filming your own story/script, you need to make a contract with yourself giving you or the company you’re operating under the permission to turn your own words into a film.
It’s a good idea to register your script with the Copyright Office and get a copyright number from them. Some writers also think it’s necessary to register a script with the Writers Guild of America East or West. A writer friend of mine was doing that one day with one of his new-hot-off-the-press scripts and the representative taking his registration fee asked if he had any children and suggested that the money he was about to pay them would be better spent on new shoes for his kids. In reality, the inherent copyright protection is in place the minute you finish your script. Some even suggest just sending oneself a copy of the work and making sure the date stamp from the Post Office is clear. Just be sure that the seal on the envelope doesn't get broken!
Once the film is finished and in the can, then it’s time to send a DVD copy of it to the Copyright Office and get a copyright registration for the finished film, not just the script. Many buyers require a copy of the form once you get the registration number, which can take weeks or months. Doing this will protect the script and the film itself.
Not only does everything start with the Word, it also ends with the Word ... on paper ... signed, sealed and delivered.
Word! It all begins with the word: The Script.
The writer of any script owns the script. And, of course, he or she has the right to sell his script to a filmmaker so it can be made into a movie. It’s essential to legally contract for the script from the writer. The contract should clearly spell out what rights the filmmaker is getting from the writer and for how long. It should also define how any compensation would work.
The filmmaker must get those rights in writing before starting any project based on that script. If it’s an original script from a friend or associate, or even a family member, it should be pretty straightforward. Where it gets sticky is if the filmmaker is buying a script that was based on some other source, such as a short story or any other published material. The filmmaker needs to follow the chain of creation and make sure he/she has permission from each entity involved in that creation. If it is material from another source, the filmmaker may need to get the writer’s and the publisher’s permission. Sometimes filmmakers get support or funding from outside sources like a foundation or a commercial sponsor. It should be clear in the agreements with those outside sources exactly what rights the filmmaker has and how those rights may be sold or licensed, as often they may have a say in what can be done with the finished product.
Buyers will want to see the whole chain of title regarding the rights to the script that's been filmed. Oftentimes, the filmmaker is the writer, too. So if you’re filming your own story/script, you need to make a contract with yourself giving you or the company you’re operating under the permission to turn your own words into a film.
It’s a good idea to register your script with the Copyright Office and get a copyright number from them. Some writers also think it’s necessary to register a script with the Writers Guild of America East or West. A writer friend of mine was doing that one day with one of his new-hot-off-the-press scripts and the representative taking his registration fee asked if he had any children and suggested that the money he was about to pay them would be better spent on new shoes for his kids. In reality, the inherent copyright protection is in place the minute you finish your script. Some even suggest just sending oneself a copy of the work and making sure the date stamp from the Post Office is clear. Just be sure that the seal on the envelope doesn't get broken!
Once the film is finished and in the can, then it’s time to send a DVD copy of it to the Copyright Office and get a copyright registration for the finished film, not just the script. Many buyers require a copy of the form once you get the registration number, which can take weeks or months. Doing this will protect the script and the film itself.
Not only does everything start with the Word, it also ends with the Word ... on paper ... signed, sealed and delivered.
September 13, 2008
How Not To Be A Stupid Filmmaker: Actors
ACTORS: DO YOU REALLY NEED THEM?
Yes.
Yes you do.
Unless you happen to be making an animation with no dialogue, you will have actors in your film. For our purposes, "actor" refers to anyone appearing in your movie or being heard in your movie via voice-over. That also includes background extras, and even those real people appearing in your documentaries. You need their permission in writing. Keep in mind, it’s so much easier to get these signed releases on the set at the time the actors are performing. This is for your own protection as a producer and/or director.
Some buyers, like Mini Movie Channel, require that you deliver copies of your actors' signed releases when you do a deal for exhibition. Often the filmmakers use actor-friends and assume they’ll be able to get a signature from them whenever it’s actually needed. But actors tend to move on. And their signatures go right along with them.
"I know it won’t be a problem," said one filmmaker recently when he was asked by Mini Movie Channel to obtain a missing signature from one of his actors. "But I’ve lost track of him and don't have a new contact for him." The actor was never found and it killed the deal. It's a huge liability to show a film commercially without all the clearances in order. Most buyers will not risk it. Especially for documentaries. It is crucial that the producer/director get a signed release from every real person your camera catches. If you can’t get the release, don’t put them in your final cut. If you’re using a "voice," as in animation dialogue or just replacing a voice in a live action film, you also need the actor's permission in writing.
It doesn't matter whether you are a SAG (Screen Actors Guild) signatory producer or a non-union producer. The liability is the same. And, when it comes to your responsibility to actors and paying them, it's all up to you, including any residuals you might owe down the line. The buyers do not pay any third party on your behalf.
So do yourself a favor and get those signatures. It's not unheard of to have an actor hold a film hostage, depending on what kind of contract you have agreed to. Some contracts even require that you get written permission from the actor before you can actually sell your film.
Finally, a cautionary tale: A producer friend of mine made a film with several celebrities -- all good friends of his. Sure enough, he had an offer to sell his film but he needed signed permission releases from his actors based on the original agreement he'd made with them. He went to each who cheerfully signed off for him, except one (his best friend) who demanded a $1,000 signing bonus in addition to the salary owed him for the upgrade of their contract. Fortunately, my producer friend was able to afford the extortion. But do you think it's safe to say that most of you new filmmakers really wouldn’t be able to get yourselves out of that kind of fix? Thought so.
Yes.
Yes you do.
Unless you happen to be making an animation with no dialogue, you will have actors in your film. For our purposes, "actor" refers to anyone appearing in your movie or being heard in your movie via voice-over. That also includes background extras, and even those real people appearing in your documentaries. You need their permission in writing. Keep in mind, it’s so much easier to get these signed releases on the set at the time the actors are performing. This is for your own protection as a producer and/or director.
Some buyers, like Mini Movie Channel, require that you deliver copies of your actors' signed releases when you do a deal for exhibition. Often the filmmakers use actor-friends and assume they’ll be able to get a signature from them whenever it’s actually needed. But actors tend to move on. And their signatures go right along with them.
"I know it won’t be a problem," said one filmmaker recently when he was asked by Mini Movie Channel to obtain a missing signature from one of his actors. "But I’ve lost track of him and don't have a new contact for him." The actor was never found and it killed the deal. It's a huge liability to show a film commercially without all the clearances in order. Most buyers will not risk it. Especially for documentaries. It is crucial that the producer/director get a signed release from every real person your camera catches. If you can’t get the release, don’t put them in your final cut. If you’re using a "voice," as in animation dialogue or just replacing a voice in a live action film, you also need the actor's permission in writing.
It doesn't matter whether you are a SAG (Screen Actors Guild) signatory producer or a non-union producer. The liability is the same. And, when it comes to your responsibility to actors and paying them, it's all up to you, including any residuals you might owe down the line. The buyers do not pay any third party on your behalf.
So do yourself a favor and get those signatures. It's not unheard of to have an actor hold a film hostage, depending on what kind of contract you have agreed to. Some contracts even require that you get written permission from the actor before you can actually sell your film.
Finally, a cautionary tale: A producer friend of mine made a film with several celebrities -- all good friends of his. Sure enough, he had an offer to sell his film but he needed signed permission releases from his actors based on the original agreement he'd made with them. He went to each who cheerfully signed off for him, except one (his best friend) who demanded a $1,000 signing bonus in addition to the salary owed him for the upgrade of their contract. Fortunately, my producer friend was able to afford the extortion. But do you think it's safe to say that most of you new filmmakers really wouldn’t be able to get yourselves out of that kind of fix? Thought so.
Next: Writers
September 11, 2008
In the news - Palm Springs Film Festival
From The Desert Sun of Palm Springs, California -- All Eyes On The Screen, Please
"If you're trying to guess which ShortFest films are most likely to create an online buzz, you may have to secure an industry pass.
Film scouts say the shorts on screen aren't necessarily the ones best suited for the Internet.
More than 100 industry people are now viewing almost 2,400 films that didn't get accepted for screenings in the ShortFest marketplace, a quiet room at the Palm Springs Hilton Hotel, looking for that Internet gold.
“That's an interesting phenomenon,” said festival executive director Darryl Macdonald. “I was told by one short film company that they bought a whole lot of films that never made it into the festival last year.”
That film company is the Mini Movie Channel, which became a sponsor of this year's festival to obtain the right to view ShortFest films before it started"... (click here for the rest of the article)
"If you're trying to guess which ShortFest films are most likely to create an online buzz, you may have to secure an industry pass.
Film scouts say the shorts on screen aren't necessarily the ones best suited for the Internet.
More than 100 industry people are now viewing almost 2,400 films that didn't get accepted for screenings in the ShortFest marketplace, a quiet room at the Palm Springs Hilton Hotel, looking for that Internet gold.
“That's an interesting phenomenon,” said festival executive director Darryl Macdonald. “I was told by one short film company that they bought a whole lot of films that never made it into the festival last year.”
That film company is the Mini Movie Channel, which became a sponsor of this year's festival to obtain the right to view ShortFest films before it started"... (click here for the rest of the article)
September 8, 2008
April and Christina: Notes from life on the road
April Macie and Christina Pazsitzky are on the road and in the mood, appearing at comedy clubs as the team “Naughty and Sorta Nice.” Their nationwide tour, dubbed “Sex in Every City,” is sort of a traveling standup comedy version of the Spice Girls meeting the Sarah Jessica Parker posse.
The team’s bawdy humor blends sex with race relations, boozing, the workplace, and even what’s hot about fat guys. April is the “naughtier” one, with her sultry redhead looks and penis jokes galore. Christina is the somewhat “nicer” blonde, dressed in white and joking about her Catholic youth while also dishing plenty of her own raunchiness. If you think today’s women comics are less provocative than their male counterparts, check out these chicks.
April and Christina’s humor draws from their colorful lives before and since they began doing standup comedy six years ago. Their dysfunctional families and friends provide inspiration, as does their life on the road. Like when they did a show in Boca Raton that was a Spinal Tap moment. By mistake, their audience was a roomful of senior citizens—who somehow actually enjoyed the dick jokes. Another time, an Olympic gold medalist’s drunken heckling prompted April to respond with a threat to come down from the stage and beat her with ice skates. Who says women don’t have balls?!
After a recent gig in Irvine, CA, the sexcapades continue on to New York, Miami, and Toledo. Catch ‘em live if you can, or check out their videos here on Mini Movie Channel.
The team’s bawdy humor blends sex with race relations, boozing, the workplace, and even what’s hot about fat guys. April is the “naughtier” one, with her sultry redhead looks and penis jokes galore. Christina is the somewhat “nicer” blonde, dressed in white and joking about her Catholic youth while also dishing plenty of her own raunchiness. If you think today’s women comics are less provocative than their male counterparts, check out these chicks.
April and Christina’s humor draws from their colorful lives before and since they began doing standup comedy six years ago. Their dysfunctional families and friends provide inspiration, as does their life on the road. Like when they did a show in Boca Raton that was a Spinal Tap moment. By mistake, their audience was a roomful of senior citizens—who somehow actually enjoyed the dick jokes. Another time, an Olympic gold medalist’s drunken heckling prompted April to respond with a threat to come down from the stage and beat her with ice skates. Who says women don’t have balls?!
After a recent gig in Irvine, CA, the sexcapades continue on to New York, Miami, and Toledo. Catch ‘em live if you can, or check out their videos here on Mini Movie Channel.
Movies of the Week: Back to School
From the boardroom to the bedroom and the playground, life’s little battlefields can be the biggest. The social scene in school can be tougher than any textbook. So to help usher in the new school year, this week’s movies are about the social challenges that students face, whether involving bullies, body image, raging hormones—or all three at once!
Career Day!
Grownups are pretty boring, all wrapped up in their work and stressed out. Wouldn’t it be better to stay young? Shy little Ella gives her third-grade peers and their parents a lesson on what really matters in life.
Confessions of a Late Bloomer
Donny’s a scrawny teen who wants to beat the bully and get the hot chick. He wants to be a man, but his body isn’t there yet. Nothing works, until he fakes it.
Even More Confused
An awkward teen with frizzy hair and braces, Suzy is also hot for her math teacher. She fantasizes about him and finally acts on it—cluelessly—only to learn a few lessons, like when not to chew gum.
My Father's an Actor
Leanne’s dad thinks he knows all about WWII because he once played a soldier in a war movie. Here’s a funny look at a shallow dad trying to help with a school research project, and at how silly actors can be, and how movies shape our sense of reality.
Archer House
Fraternities have the reputation, but sororities can be just as gross, even the fancy ones. See a journalism student go undercover and pledge a sorority where quaint tea parties quickly lead to nasty hazing rituals.
Career Day!
Grownups are pretty boring, all wrapped up in their work and stressed out. Wouldn’t it be better to stay young? Shy little Ella gives her third-grade peers and their parents a lesson on what really matters in life.
Confessions of a Late Bloomer
Donny’s a scrawny teen who wants to beat the bully and get the hot chick. He wants to be a man, but his body isn’t there yet. Nothing works, until he fakes it.
Even More Confused
An awkward teen with frizzy hair and braces, Suzy is also hot for her math teacher. She fantasizes about him and finally acts on it—cluelessly—only to learn a few lessons, like when not to chew gum.
My Father's an Actor
Leanne’s dad thinks he knows all about WWII because he once played a soldier in a war movie. Here’s a funny look at a shallow dad trying to help with a school research project, and at how silly actors can be, and how movies shape our sense of reality.
Archer House
Fraternities have the reputation, but sororities can be just as gross, even the fancy ones. See a journalism student go undercover and pledge a sorority where quaint tea parties quickly lead to nasty hazing rituals.
September 5, 2008
How Not To Be A Stupid Filmmaker - Introduction
Most new filmmakers make short films. There aren’t very many venues yet that will buy short films and exhibit them commercially. So, most short filmmakers make films to “express” themselves and don’t worry too much, evidently, about whose material they’ve, ahem, stolen borrowed without permission (albeit unintentionally). Until recently, selling films was a remote outcome for these “expressions.” Consequently, it was important for the filmmakers to just get something done. Maybe they could get their work into a couple of festivals, show it to some agents, maybe. Then, onward to that feature!
But now there are more and more places to get short films out to a general audience, mostly via the Internet. And, as already noted in a previous post, Mini Movie Channel is paying upfront license fees. Even if fees aren’t being offered, the venues worldwide that show shorts do require that even a little short movie has to be free and clear (legal) to exhibit to their audiences. Otherwise they risk being sued. And nobody wants that.
Then why are a lot of new filmmakers stupid? Of course, we all know filmmakers aren’t stupid, but they’re coming off that way to a lot of folks in the industry because they’re doing stupid, lazy things that make it impossible to buy their films.
Hence, I’m beginning a series of posts that will address many facets of production that need to be dealt with in order to make a film you can actually sell. These are things you’ll have to pay attention to for the rest of your career, and they apply to anything you’ll make for any market whether it’s a feature film or webisodes. Once you exhibit anything, unless it’s in the privacy of your own home, you have to own it. “Own it” means you have all the clearances, releases, permissions, and contracts that prove you control the rights to sell/show your film.
Even though the new technologies have made it easier to actually get a film done, why not make one that can be seen by other people? And, heck, you might even make some money with it. The short film markets are growing.
NEXT: MUSIC DO'S AND DON'TS
But now there are more and more places to get short films out to a general audience, mostly via the Internet. And, as already noted in a previous post, Mini Movie Channel is paying upfront license fees. Even if fees aren’t being offered, the venues worldwide that show shorts do require that even a little short movie has to be free and clear (legal) to exhibit to their audiences. Otherwise they risk being sued. And nobody wants that.
Then why are a lot of new filmmakers stupid? Of course, we all know filmmakers aren’t stupid, but they’re coming off that way to a lot of folks in the industry because they’re doing stupid, lazy things that make it impossible to buy their films.
Hence, I’m beginning a series of posts that will address many facets of production that need to be dealt with in order to make a film you can actually sell. These are things you’ll have to pay attention to for the rest of your career, and they apply to anything you’ll make for any market whether it’s a feature film or webisodes. Once you exhibit anything, unless it’s in the privacy of your own home, you have to own it. “Own it” means you have all the clearances, releases, permissions, and contracts that prove you control the rights to sell/show your film.
Even though the new technologies have made it easier to actually get a film done, why not make one that can be seen by other people? And, heck, you might even make some money with it. The short film markets are growing.
NEXT: MUSIC DO'S AND DON'TS
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